Grief & Loss Counseling

Heartbrokenness is your memory.

Contrary to conventional belief, grief is not something you “get over” or “pass through.”

Stages of grief do not form the rungs of a ladder that you must climb to get to the top, where you are then free and can fly away from the sadness. We all must learn to fly with our grief, which will transform us and will become the way we carry our loved ones with us throughout our lives. Carrying those memories do not have to become a burden and they do not have to weigh us down.

Grief ebbs and flows.  Your heart is not on a timetable.  You will not be “done” grieving at some definitive point in time. Rather, grief is a life-long process with peaks and valleys.  While your pain will not always be as constant as it is in the beginning, there will be times throughout your life when your grief will be quite intense. So, you have to take really good care of yourself, talk with people you trust, feel your feelings, and be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to cry and laugh to remember the joy and acknowledge the pain, and trust that healing is happening even when it doesn’t seem like it.

Here are some questions I will ask you concerning your grief:

  • Tell me something about your history with grief.

  • What feelings do you remember having at that time and currently?

  • How has this death impacted you physically, cognitively and spiritually?

  • Did you attend a funeral or memorial service?

  • How have you been attending to your grief since that time?

  • What issues are you dealing with as a result of the death?

  • What brings you comfort in your grief?

  • How do you see your grief changing over time?

We will talk about and navigate through the following tasks of mourning:

Accepting the reality of the death:

Although you know intellectually that the person has died, you may experience a sense of disbelief.  Integrating the reality of their death means “taking it in” with your whole being. 

To process the pain of grief:

Grief is experienced emotionally, cognitively, physically and spiritually.  People may be telling you: “Get over it; move on; be strong.”  In contrast, one of the aims of grief support is to help you find the safe expression of all the natural grief reactions.

To adjust to a world without your loved one:

External adjustments include taking on responsibilities and learning new skills.  Internal adjustments are made as you adapt to your new identity.

To find a way to remember your loved one while embarking on the rest of your journey through life:

Gradually you create a balance between remembering the person who died and living a full and meaningful life. 

Testimonials

  • I enjoyed working with Cathy. The structure of the questions were very helpful to bring awareness of professional and personal issues that were gently addressed with Cathy's skillful approach. She is both curious and supportive, a healthy stance to take which helps the client to realize their own potential to grow.

    - Dr. Charlotte M. - Psychoanalyst

  • Cathy Arden was referred to me as a Life Coach when I began the process of separation from my partner. I was skeptical at first, as I had had some positive, and some not so positive experiences with therapy in the past. And what is a “Life Coach” anyway? I thought my sister and friends had enough good sense to help me get through this terrifying period.

    After discussing the particulars of my situation, Cathy offered some suggestions to help me get through the initial steps of mediation. She gave me some simple tools to use when I felt out of control, frightened and confused. Cathy is a terrific listener, and always made sure I was clear about what she heard and how I felt when she reiterated these scenarios back to me. She has been an incredible advocate, and has helped me focus on the positive aspects of this life changing experience.

    - Mary K. - Costume Designer

  • I sought Cathy’s help shortly after a time of major transition in my life. After going through a divorce and with my primary role of Mom less relevant with my children recently graduated and starting their own careers, I felt a little directionless. I was confused about where to go professionally and personally. Cathy helped me to discover my “essential self” and the discoveries I made in this process helped to guide my direction. I was able to make big decisions and move forward. I feel great about where I am right now and about my ability to think about life in these new terms. Cathy showed a remarkable ability to help me transform everything I told her into insights that helped me to determine a plan. I would strongly recommend Cathy as a life coach and I’d definitely call her if I needed help again sorting through thoughts and life decisions.

    - Sue M.

  • What I've learned from Cathy is that in order to truly grasp our own personal goals, fears & potential, it is imperative to look within ourselves. Cathy’s techniques allow you to fully evaluate your true feelings about any situation, without the influence of other people's opinions or what popular culture exemplifies. Finding true happiness is attainable when you are honest with yourself. Only then will you be able to make the choices that are right for you and be able to fulfill your true potential. If you are struggling with making a difficult choice in your life or just feel you need some guidance, Cathy will open your eyes up to what truly matters to you and what you can do about it.

    - Anya K. - Certified Holistic Health Coach

  • I was thinking about it today and I realized that part of what stimulated all this change for my husband and I was when I read the questions in Cathy's Client Introduction Form that was sent to me in advance of starting coaching sessions. Just reading the questions and thinking about how I would answer them gave me the initial realization that my life didn't look like I wanted it to, and I needed to make changes. So thank you, Cathy, for beginning me on this new journey. I am excited and ready for it!

    - Nina M. - Marketing Director